I'm bringing Xanga back - drop a comment if you're with me!

Hey I'm gonna be a substitute teacher!!!!!!!

This should be interesting.

And I'm gonna be a Maid of Honor!!!!

That should be even MORE interesting.

These adult-like positions are a bit unnerving to say the least. Tonight when my newly engaged best friend came over to show me her ring, we started looking at bridal magazines and I felt like we should be looking for prom dresses and simply dreaming of our wedding dresses. And the fact we were seriously looking for wedding dresses kinda scared me. I'm kinda iffy about the whole situation......I mean hello it's a lot of pressure on a person when she has to be pretty much the BEST maid of honor EVER. And come up with the COOLEST ideas for showers and parties EVER. And the CUTEST. and the most ORIGINAL. And stuff that makes everyone say "Awwwww" Gosh what a role to fill. It's going to be an interesting year.

But also can I say....I was in Barnes and Noble the other day and every other song they played was off the new Dave cd!!! It made me so happy. I was wondering around looking at books singing "I'm a smoooooth rider baby..." yah. and I bought a "How to be a Bridesmaid" book. And Uncle Tom's Cabin. Because my great great great great great grandmother wrote it and I thought hey perhaps I should read it.

So the little girl that slapped me on the ass last year is back at the pool.

Brynn said she was asking if I would be back this summer. She always smiles at me and waves when I'm on the lifeguard stand...I wonder if in 20 years she's going to be on Maury "coming out" to her family that she's a lesbian, and she says "Yeah it all started back at Y swim camp when I was in love with Caroline the Lifeguard"

During water aerobics this black kid is just chillin on the side with his feet in the water while all the old people are playing with their noodles and styrofoam dumbbells. This lady whispers up to me "Is that boy retarded?" And she is like dead serious. I don't know if this is because he looked like Zach Braff trying to swim in Garden State or if she was just racist...but it was hard not to make one of my Caroline faces at her.

So the liquid chlorine pump is broken. And apparently we're just supposed to dump the chlorine from these huge barrels into smaller buckets then pour it into the pool...well knowing how dangerous liquid chlorine is, and that this is by far illegal by like so many safety standards, I refuse to do it....so the "Head Lifeguard" aka Doofus Face decides he's going to let the barrel pour into the bucket...and then leave it there unattended...so 3 hours later he calles me to go "check the chemicals" and there is def half an inch of liquid chlorine filling the entire area of this chemical closet. Hahaha. Idiot.

There's this other female lifeguard...I call her "Weird Girl" She thought someone was getting in her van the other day. And she went out to check on it. But one was getting into her van. She's weird.

SO. Also. There is this other lifeguard he's like 17 or something and he is always trying to flirt with me saying stuff like "I wish I was in YOUR swim class." I have him pretty much Whipped. With a capital W. Him and this other guy. I convinced one guy I just insulted about his molestache to go down the hall and fetch me a coke...then the other guy...I convinced him to go fetch me a Moolatte when he got off of work, and bring it back to me. He did it. GAH. It's pretty fun to manipulate young innocent high school boys.

My adult swim class. It's awesome...rich elegant Spanish lady who wears diamonds and gold bangles in the pool...then a middle school teacher. They're pretty fun. They ask if there are other lifeguards around because I look small and like maybe I can't rescue them when I make them jump into the deep end...hahahaha The Spanish lady (I don't know how to pronounce/spell her name) is like "This has always been great dream of mine...to swim!" I enjoy teaching adults. They don't pull on my bathing suit straps when they jump in the water.

Next swim lesson session I've been assigned "Joe" a 40 year old fellow who is mentally disabled. Can't wait!!!